I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
