It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
