i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
