Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
