If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
