Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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