If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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