i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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