I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
