chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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