East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
