I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
