But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
