New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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