New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
