For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
