pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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