I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
