it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
