My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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