Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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