then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
