shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
