I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
