Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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