It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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