My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My breasts were aching with rage.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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