i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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