in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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