I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
