Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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