Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
