so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
