well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
