Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
