it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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