Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
