I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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