literally had 100 drinks last night.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
