My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
