Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
