unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
