You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
