Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
