I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
