Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
