she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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