found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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