Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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