Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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