Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
