dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
