in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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