so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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